I remember as a young boy putting my head to the stereo and listening to Arab chants (mawal’s) and feeling the depth of their singing.  At that period in my life, I had no idea what drew me to those soulful songs.  As time went by, I also had a desire to sing and needed and instrument as a vehicle to express myself.

My uncle, who was born in Turkey, stated that he could purchase an Oud for me to learn how to play. It was at the age of 14 that I started to play albeit without lessons. Yep, it was a tough going. I just did not have the patience to sit and study even though I tried.

Around the age of 18 I was introduced to a Belly Dancer named Serena who offered me a job playing Oud at Sam’s Bowery Follies (Bowery in New York City) along with her husband Rip playing Dumbeg (middle easter drum). It took me less then a blink of an eye to say………….wowee zowee, magnifique, vundabah, hell yes, My mind and heart did several on-call performances………… From that first day we were a team for ten years up until the time I left New York City.

Yes, the Oud gave me an opportunity to sing and perform at wondrous places such at private parties (Paul Anka was at one of them), Apollo Theatre in New York City, famous department store (i forgot the name) in St Paul Minneapolis, etc. What a blast!!!! Because of the Oud, I later performed weekends at Cafe Fenjon and Cafe Fez both in Greenwich Village, NY. Serena was a famous Belly Dancer with a great business mind. I miss performing with her, Rip, and their son Scott. Yes, a magical time in my life. I am sure when I pass on I will perform again…………majic is magic, nest pas.

I remember playing music at a St Paul Minneapolis Department Store which was having clothing and displays depicting the middle east. One. For some reason I began to sing to God. Wow, what a moment in time. I had no idea what Serena was doing nor paying actual attention to the rhythms of the dumbed but it surely was one of the best performances I was a part of. Yep me and my Oud played mucho music together. After leaving New York I wound up playing at a belly dance cabaret in San Francisco, with a band in Albuquerque, New Mexico and some in Seattle. After leaving Seattle, the music left me but I may get back to playing again just for the hell of it. I miss singing Armenian and Turkish and most of all to God.

Authentic : Relating to or denoting an emotionally appropriate significant, purposive and responsible mode of human life.  What does that mean anyway?  The simple answer, is be genuine, loving, trustworthy,  faith in ones self and God.  Wow, getting to that aspect of one’s life could take life times if not more.

It truly takes courage to get to that understanding as well as believing YOU ARE THAT!!! Yep, the journey can take you through the highs and lows of  ones life.  Most important is to truly get it.  You are not a victim!!  You set it all up, not God, you did.  Hmm, for some it is hard to swallow.

There was a time when I lived in Seattle and got the call in the middle of the night stating that my step kids  were in an accident somewhere near Winslow Arizona.  They were on their way to LA to visit their dad. My wife and I were  in dire straights at the time and  needed to barrow  money  so my wife could book a flight   to the hospital.  Yes, they did  survive, and I believe grew from the accident.

Needless to say,  I was  angry, worried,  anxious, etc.  I was so angry at God that I  cursed at HIM, gave Him my middle finger and  yelled inwardly.  I am trying so hard why are you doing this to me?  Hey, I didn’t have anything to do with this scenario, right?

The next morning, I went to open the window and the window fell on my middle finger.   I wondered what that meant.  So, I looked up Louise Hays Book having to do with body parts and  its emotional component.  Well, the middle finger meant angry at the Father.   Wow, what a trip.

After that, something shifted in me.  I began to understand that whatever the scenario is, both good and bad, I set it up.  There is no Victim!!!!  From that moment on I began the journey to find my authentic self.   For sure, many pit falls but I  kept climbing.  God did not do anything to me.   All that I have gone through in my life was to uncover my authentic self.

Yes,  whatever you do, you set it up even if you are on the short end of  the stick.  Take responsibility for the journey.   Let go and then ask what is my lesson?  Yes, it is not always easy to get to that, especially when one is in pain.  When the pain begins to subside then you may find the answer.  Of course, when it is wonderful………….Hmm, how come, what am I suppose to do with that,  whats the lesson, etc.

Get on with it, because you deserve to be authentic.