There are three things people want from others.  The need to be liked, accepted, and affirmed.  In the early 70’s I was  Head Counselor for boys eighteen and younger in a group home.  I was put in that position  without proper training simply because I was next in line.   When interviewing new hire,  I would ask what does love mean to you?  That person would be hired based upon the answer.

I was also somewhat new to following Meher Baba as my Master or God.  In fact, I purchased Don’t Worry Be Happy posters and gave each of the 18 boys one.  After returning from a weekend, I found all 18 posters on my door.  I later found out the administrator had hit one of the kids………………………..

Also, I was in need of control, and did not give ample latitude to my staff.  Eventually they all turned on me.  In the beginning I was liked but after six months or so I was disliked and not accepted. 

After leaving the position as Head Counselor I traveled to India to visit Meher Baba’s Tomb (he died January 31, 1969) and living disciples.  While there I  met a couple of Australians who shared a story about a recent typhoon.  Part of the dialogue had to do with toilets and such.  I over heard someone who must have been listening to our conversation state “all he knows is shit and piss.”  I was devastated by someone criticizing me.  I soon went to Meher Baba’s Tomb and asked why someone who did not know me, “put me down.”  After what seemed a long long time, Meher Baba internally answered  “I need to let go of praise and blame.”  Wow, what a concept.  From that moment on I learned to be detached from both.

So many people look outside themselves for the reflection of  who they are.  Yes, it is nice to be liked, accepted and affirmed but inevitably someone will come along and judge you.  Eventually each person must like, accept, and affirm themselves no matter how  viewed.  Until that happens that person will never be truly whole.  A hint, “your inner child holds a key.”

 

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