This is not an easy one for people to let go of since they come in many disguises.  Wants and needs are at the top of the list.  People want to be liked, accepted, or affirmed.  Yes, we all want those things but what happens when we are not liked, accepted, or affirmed?  It could bring up all sorts of emotions.

Here are two personal examples.  In 1974 I was  Head Counselor for a boys home 18 years old or younger.  I hired counselors based upon Love. Well I was a newbe to this field and feeling good about myself. I had a lot of praise from the counselors but after six months they turned on me. I had a need to control situations and did not trust my peers.  Hence, I was  soon not accepted, liked or affirmed.  Yes, I was devastated.  It so happened, right after being the counselor turned on me,  I had a flight to India to visit Meher Baba’s Samadhi (tomb) where he was buried in 1969.

I remember talking to a couple of Australians  while in India, who were also followers of Meher Baba about a typhoon.  A couple of people over heard our conversation and said, I believe referring to me, “all he knows is shit and piss.”  Well I was devastated. I went into Meher Baba’s Samadhi  and inwardly stated, I am not leaving until you tell me what is going on.  After, what I thought was a very long time the answer came.  You need to let go of praise and blame.  Praise was easy but blame not so much.

When I moved to MT from Seattle, I started  a men’s group.   I use to not take things too serious as the other men did.  One of the men told me, that the other men had a hard time accepting me. Some time after,  my wife and I had gone  to eat at a neighborhood restaurant where one of the men who had criticized me was also present.  A friend said “why don’t I say hello.”  Well, I could not.  I was still hurt because of him not  accepting me.

I finally asked myself why I was feeling hurt?  I came to the realization I did not hurt anyone by playing by not being serious as the other men.  And, since I did not hurt anyone, I  forgave myself for acting out. I also realized it was my “inner child” that was the one playing.  The inner child is a part of our personality.  After forgiving myself (letting go) I was able to have conversation with the person who did not care for me.

From that time on, I learned to be more perceptive of my actions and not have my inner child take over.  When you are feeling hurt by someones criticism ask yourself if it’s really justified.  If truly not your fault and still hurt, forgive yourself for those bummer feelings.  Recap the situation without getting too involved  in emotions and once again see, feel, hear, if there is any merit to what transpired.

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