I remember as a young boy putting my head to the stereo and listening to Arab chants (mawal’s) and feeling the depth of their singing.  At that period in my life, I had no idea what drew me to those soulful songs.  As time went by, I also had a desire to sing and needed and instrument as a vehicle to express myself.

My uncle, who was born in Turkey, stated that he could purchase an Oud for me to learn how to play. It was at the age of 14 that I started to play albeit without lessons. Yep, it was a tough going. I just did not have the patience to sit and study even though I tried.

Around the age of 18 I was introduced to a Belly Dancer named Serena who offered me a job playing Oud at Sam’s Bowery Follies (Bowery in New York City) along with her husband Rip playing Dumbeg (middle easter drum). It took me less then a blink of an eye to say………….wowee zowee, magnifique, vundabah, hell yes, My mind and heart did several on-call performances………… From that first day we were a team for ten years up until the time I left New York City.

Yes, the Oud gave me an opportunity to sing and perform at wondrous places such at private parties (Paul Anka was at one of them), Apollo Theatre in New York City, famous department store (i forgot the name) in St Paul Minneapolis, etc. What a blast!!!! Because of the Oud, I later performed weekends at Cafe Fenjon and Cafe Fez both in Greenwich Village, NY. Serena was a famous Belly Dancer with a great business mind. I miss performing with her, Rip, and their son Scott. Yes, a magical time in my life. I am sure when I pass on I will perform again…………majic is magic, nest pas.

I remember playing music at a St Paul Minneapolis Department Store which was having clothing and displays depicting the middle east. One. For some reason I began to sing to God. Wow, what a moment in time. I had no idea what Serena was doing nor paying actual attention to the rhythms of the dumbed but it surely was one of the best performances I was a part of. Yep me and my Oud played mucho music together. After leaving New York I wound up playing at a belly dance cabaret in San Francisco, with a band in Albuquerque, New Mexico and some in Seattle. After leaving Seattle, the music left me but I may get back to playing again just for the hell of it. I miss singing Armenian and Turkish and most of all to God.

Authentic : Relating to or denoting an emotionally appropriate significant, purposive and responsible mode of human life.  What does that mean anyway?  The simple answer, is be genuine, loving, trustworthy,  faith in ones self and God.  Wow, getting to that aspect of one’s life could take life times if not more.

It truly takes courage to get to that understanding as well as believing YOU ARE THAT!!! Yep, the journey can take you through the highs and lows of  ones life.  Most important is to truly get it.  You are not a victim!!  You set it all up, not God, you did.  Hmm, for some it is hard to swallow.

There was a time when I lived in Seattle and got the call in the middle of the night stating that my step kids  were in an accident somewhere near Winslow Arizona.  They were on their way to LA to visit their dad. My wife and I were  in dire straights at the time and  needed to barrow  money  so my wife could book a flight   to the hospital.  Yes, they did  survive, and I believe grew from the accident.

Needless to say,  I was  angry, worried,  anxious, etc.  I was so angry at God that I  cursed at HIM, gave Him my middle finger and  yelled inwardly.  I am trying so hard why are you doing this to me?  Hey, I didn’t have anything to do with this scenario, right?

The next morning, I went to open the window and the window fell on my middle finger.   I wondered what that meant.  So, I looked up Louise Hays Book having to do with body parts and  its emotional component.  Well, the middle finger meant angry at the Father.   Wow, what a trip.

After that, something shifted in me.  I began to understand that whatever the scenario is, both good and bad, I set it up.  There is no Victim!!!!  From that moment on I began the journey to find my authentic self.   For sure, many pit falls but I  kept climbing.  God did not do anything to me.   All that I have gone through in my life was to uncover my authentic self.

Yes,  whatever you do, you set it up even if you are on the short end of  the stick.  Take responsibility for the journey.   Let go and then ask what is my lesson?  Yes, it is not always easy to get to that, especially when one is in pain.  When the pain begins to subside then you may find the answer.  Of course, when it is wonderful………….Hmm, how come, what am I suppose to do with that,  whats the lesson, etc.

Get on with it, because you deserve to be authentic.

In August and September I had gone to see a chiropractor and paid  out of pocket since this individual was not on the list of preferred providers.  When I have an appointment with a preferred provider, I pay $15 per visit.  When I have an appointment with a doctor who is not a preferred provider  (PPO)there is no deductible.  The insurance company, American Specialty Health, then pays them the amount allowed.  Yes, the doctor must sign up to be on the preferred provider  hit list.   Since my chiropractor is not  PPO, I was told I would get the exact amount of money I paid out and it would go towards my yearly amount allowed.

I sent it first to Health Net, my insurance carrier, who did not tell me that I needed to send it to American Specialty Insurance who handles chiropractic claims.  When I sent it to them,  I was given reason upon reason why they would not allow it.

When I talked to customer service they informed me that I needed a receipt.  I told them it would be fraud if I and the chiropractor lied which was shown on the  insurance claim  filed.  Customer service then talked to their supervisor who gave it the okay.

I followed up a couple of days later and I once again got the run around.  American Specialty Insurance said I  need to put the amounts in the “charge box” area to go along with the codes.  I sent the correct amounts with the codes only to get  a letter stating that the doctors name and address are illegible.   As I look at the claim it is clearly printed, not written.  So now I will send it to them again, highlight it in yellow so they can clearly see it.

On another note, I was told that  claims  need to be submitted in a certain  time frame or they would not be accepted.  The person did not  tell me how much time I had left before American Specialty would not accept the claim.

I am still in the process of trying to  receive t he money I  laid out for two sessions.  Nothing like insurance companies trying “screw” the public.

One of pops favorite quotes, “go to the roundhouse you can’t get  cornered there.”  Hmm, what did he mean by that?   I remember that quote  from way back in my early days of childhood.  I had always thought that was a funny quote and would share it from to time  with friends.  However, with the passing of the twenty-four  hour clock, I finally go it……………

When pop was cornered he would say, ” you all a bunch of lawyers?”  Maybe that was how he got out of a jam?  Well, he didn’t do too well when he gambled and owed money to a  shylock.  The phone calls would keep comin from the multitude of people he owed dollars and cents to.  Besides gambling, pop had a good knack for throwing money away and having the family live on edge.  That is probably the reason, I had difficulty with money as well.  However, I never liked betting on the horses like dad did and  throwing the dollars out the  window.

Hell, when I got cornered it wasn’t roundhouse but   the merry-go-round.  Yep, my drug of choice  was the merry-go-round  which was somewhat different then the roundhouse.  Round and round I would go on the horse and trying to catch the magic ring.

Yep, through the difficult times I would ask, “what did I do to deserve this?”  I am a good person and I am trying soooooooo hard.  Why are you (God, Spirit, Universe) doing this to me?  Hey, tis not my fault because…………………

Well, after  getting tired of the the merry-go-round, I would just give up and ask the universe, ” hey ,what are you trying to tell me?”    Alright, I get it, you love me and its okay whatever is a happenin in my life.  If I ever get cornered  in the roundhouse  or looking for the magic key as I go round  and round in the merry-go-round, I  will now look for the signs that got me there in the first.  What  is my lesson pray tell?  Alright, I will let go of control because I set this scenario up and not you.

Definition: The sum of person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed  as deciding their fate in future existences.  Informal destiny  or fate following as affect from cause.  ”In other words what you sew so shall you reap in this life and  following lives.”

Okay that seems simple enough don’t you think?  If you rob someone you are going to get robbed in this life or another  or possibly go to jail. Which brings to mind this story of a close friend.

My friend (we will call him Al) worked for an insurance agent who was also trying to obtain loans for individuals through  his make shift lender. Interest rates were very high at this time somewhere in the vicinity  of  21%.  Al stated  he knew the lender’s facility was  set up in the Bahamas.  He  also saw telexes being faxed to Mexico City and China from the insurance agents home.  What he did not know was that it was all a scam.

Al never made very little  money waiting for the so called lenders to approve a loan.  The  money he did make was from the insurance agent selling some policies in order for the client to obtain a loan. Unfortunately they never  came through because it was a scam.  Eventually he  was arrested and taken to jail for being part of the scam .  Al was an  honest person and did not realize he was being duped.

Al told me he called psychic who stated to him, “you were once a thief in a previous life and are now paying for that misdeed.”  Al was eventually proven innocent (he had a lawyer) but had to go through the turmoil of possibly going to jail for a long period of time.  Bad karma will eventually catch up to us. There is no escape!

The actions of past lives determine the conditions and circumstances of the present life, and the actions of the present life have their share in determining the conditions and circumstances of future lives.  Successive incarnations of the individual soul yield their full significance only in the light to of the operation of the law of karma, “Meher Baba”

Yes, there is also good karma as well which will determine future lives.  These individuals will experience the pleasures of heaven.  As an example, if one loves music just thinking about it will provide joy.  The pleasures in heaven are more so then the pleasures of Earthly life since one does not have a physcial body.

When one dies, that individual severs connection with the  Earthly body and connects with his/her Astral Body which is much finer.  From their that individual stays connected with Earth for a  period of four days and then can experience the heaven or hell state.  Time in the Astral Plane (heaven and hell) are much different then time on Earth.

If humanity understood the reality of karma, people would not be so foolish to take advantage of others through greed, power, control, etc.

The movie A Film Unfinished depicts the Warsaw Ghetto during the month of May 1942 when Jews were sent to live in  very overcrowded conditions.  They had little food except for a few who were rich.  Many lived in small apartments with no working toilet facilities.

The atrocities that were inflicted by the Nazi’s even goes on today but with different names and within different countries.  When people suffer such degradation it must put their faith to the test.  Is God a loving God?  Has He/She abandoned me?  The list can go on and on.

Or, perhaps, a lesser scale, my brother lost his daughter who was in her early thirties pregnant with child.  While driving home after dropping her sweetheart off at the ferry a driver went through a stop sign and killed her.    My brother never recovered from the incident.  He was naturally overcome with grief and suffered tremendously because of his loss.  My brother would say many times “why couldn’t God take me instead of L?  Even though I had an understanding nothing spiritual would have helped since he was limited in believing that their was no more to life then  earthly life.

Not only do we have individual karma but also group and country karma as well.  While watching the movie I thought of the pain other countries had bestowed on the less fortunate.  Even knowing that the Jews in this ghetto set this up, it was still painful to watch.

I understand life and its opposites of good and evil but the pain of watching these people suffer was heart breaking.  I read much of what people say about love from quotes or from their own experiences yet how does one come to a loving heart?   One must have a foundation to build upon to have the strength and fortitude to go fourth.  One cannot do it without the foundation of Spirit.

I read many quotes, and some I also contribute, from various sources such as Hafiz the great poet of his time, Depak Chopka, Meher Baba and others.  People gravitate to the love quotes and knowledge but I wonder about the foundation.  It seems to me that  to express  and believe one is Lovable is not easy.  Meher Baba states, “True love is not for the faint hearted or the weak.  It is born of strength and understanding.”

The world must go through what it is going through before it can heal.  Perhaps people will just get tired of killing, being greedy, lusting for power and manipulation and turn towards God.

I may not experience it in this lifetime but when I come back I will be prepared for whatever the world has to offer.

Do you remember a time when you laughed and played because it was who you were?  Somewhere between childhood or earlier most of you forgot that part and left it on a stoop (New York steps leading to a house or apartment).  Yes, many parents physically and emotionally abandoned their child, one or both drank too much, were  alone,  needed to grow up fast, etc.  Everyone has a story and with good reason left that beautiful innocent curious child tucked deep inside.

If that part has been hidden for so many years, it would be difficult, to once again, claim that wonderful child.  If your name is Richard maybe  they called Richie, Robert-Bobby, Flo-Florence, Alice-pumpkin and it goes on and on.  If you were to connect with that little girl or boy he or she is  probably hidden and forgot how to play.

Okay, so one may ask how do I connect with that little guy or girl?  That hidden child is watching and listening and all you need to do to get started is to connect with that part.  How you may ask do I connect with that little guy or girl? I always suggest to write a note or a letter saying how you feel about he/she.  Of course if you could care less then it would do you no good to write.  If you are scared because that part might reject you, I say so what.  Whose in charge anyway?  It takes courage to move past old worn out drama’s and embrace a new you emerging  true self out of the forest.

However, if you take your time and try to remember what it might be to be little again you could say, I will never leave you, I will always listen to you, I love you, etc, etc,.  A wise person once said if you are a righty then write with your righthand and then on the same paper have the lefthand answer back which would be the child.   It didn’t work for me but possibly for you it might.

I would bet my life, well not my life, but maybe a cup of coffee or tea, if you were to ask your inner child if it would like to play or go to sleep it would answer in the affirmative.  Oh boy, here we go again, the Inner Child stuff.  Call that part whatever you like but for sure it needs your attention to be recognized. Deffinitely your  inner child is tired of having to play out this role of being serious, all grown up, and in charge.

I remember a time when I was counseling a grownup and I had this client get in touch with his little guy.  I asked him to ask his  inner child  what the little tike, well we didn’t call him a little tike but you get my drift.  The inner child said, “I want to role down a hill.”  Sure enough this grown-up had a blast  rolling down the hill and did not even break any bones or get any bruises.  A woman made some cup cakes out of mud, fun, fun and more fun.  Nothing like bringing a smile to one’s face.

What’s that song that goes something like this, “the sky is going to clear up so put on a happy face……………..”Come on go for it and put some fun back into your life.

I have been working in the field of mental illness for ten years and have witnessed many of my clients or residents who experienced voices that for the most part were negative.  Almost all individuals that experience voices have had a difficult childhood.  Many  are quite sensitive and pick up feelings of others and can not differentiate between theirs and someone else’s.    Some experience both visual and auditory hallucinations which are more traumatic then just auditory voices.

The voices  they hear often will not let up with constant jabbering.  Medications can alleviate the voices somewhat but not entirely.  Many will listen to music via radio, ipod, play wi to name a few.  To understand what its like have two people talk behind you at the same time and you will get the idea what people with mental illness go through.

The Astral Plane where many mischievous entities(a gentle way of stating that they are not for our highest good, learning, and growth) hang out and will look to play havoc with souls that have little or no protection.  Some of these individuals who experience voices are actually getting them from the Astral Plane.  Yes, not all are coming from their but it would behoove the therapist to have a better understanding of the spirit world.

In those ten years, I only experienced one person who received positive reinforcement and this was from his grandmother who had died.  I worked with this individual for over a year before he left for another state.  Unfortunately their were other  voices such as the inner critic who put him down thus impeding his progress towards positive self esteem. We all have experienced this sub-personality along with others whose roll is to keep us from moving forward.   Imagine how much more difficult it is with people who have a mental illness.

For my part I keep looking for individuals that I can help from a spiritual perspective; perhaps

Why do Muslims believe that you shouldn’t show  pictures of the Prophet Muhammad? The Prophet himself decreed that he should not be worshiped as other’s prophets were worshiped as God or god son.  In order to make sure it doesn’t happen any pictures or sculpture of the  prophet was  not created.  If you cite history most of the idol worshipping came in to being by people creating  statues of  religious persons just to  honor them but later generations started worshiping them as God.  I see it every time happening in India. Because in Islam Prophet Muhammad is just a common man who has been tasked with the responsibility by God for preaching Islam.  As a muslim we love and respect Prophet Muhammad (Peace be on him) but we don’t worship him  We will only worship God (Allah) no one else.        Wikipedia

Now I wonder if Muhammad really cared if his picture was shown or not?  I have found by meditating on a spiritual  teacher, guru, Jesus, Buddha, or someone else very spiritual you would align with that  soul’s energy.  Also the focus would stare one  away from the world of  illusion and connect one with the truer reality.

Muhammad truly needs to have a picture to help Muslims or others  who believe in Him to help individuals become more aligned with the truth of his Being.  Could it possibly be true that Muhammad was God in human form just as Jesus was.  If you read anything about Krishna (Bhagavadgita) you would know that He showed his universal body to his disciple Arjuna. This helped him believe that Krishna was God in human form.  It is also written in the Bhagavadgita about reincarnation.  Well, someone got it right wouldn’t you say.

So, I am sure ready to get a painting, picture, or drawing of Muhammad, it would connect me  on a deeper level then I am currently experiencing with Him.

Today I picked up the Oregonian Newspaper with a headline stating, Beck, Palin call for  restored values.  Whose values are they talking about anyway, surely not mine.  These headlines only confirm, to me, that we have a long long way to go  before Oneness takes over separatism.

Beck states, “something beyond imagination is happening, American today begins to turn back to God.”  Beck exhorted the crowd to “recognize your place to the creator.”  Wow, are we in for big dodo since so many believe his and Palin’s truths.  As long as our country follows this belief we will eventually suffer the consequences of ignorance.

Our country and yes our planet is on a way to self destruction both from a physical and emotional level.  If one’s eyes are open one can see/feel the truth of this.  The question may be asked, how do I heal that which is  broken.  Hold on to Love and Truth and release that which holds you back from your true self.  Well,  how do I release that which holds me back from my true self.

One must have courage  and dive into  the false and ask what that part is trying to do for you.  It always comes down to being safe and not vulnerable.  When one has a sense of false safety the heart is closed and has difficulty finding God as his/her true self.

Let us hope our country, our planet, our people will again find that God resides in the heart and is not separate from us.