Published by Robert Zakian on 31 Oct 2017

Honesty The Best Policy?

There were two close  friends who had known each other for a long time.  One friend we’ll name Mary and the other Jo.  Mary was going to a party and purchased a new outfit for the  occasion.

At Mary’s apartment, she asked Jo if  she would like to see the new outfit  purchased for the party? Jo replied yes.  Mary came out of her bedroom very happy looking forward to Jo’s comments.

Mary asked then Jo what she thought.  Jo being  honest stated she did not like the outfit and reasons why.   After hearing Jo’s comment  Mary became agitated  taking Jo’s honesty as  criticism.  Mary was hurt by Jo’s statement.

What scenarios could have contributed to Mary being hurt?   JO was just being honest?  I look forward to your answers. 🙂

Published by Robert Zakian on 30 Aug 2017

Detachment

There are three things people want from others.  The need to be liked, accepted, and affirmed.  In the early 70’s I was  Head Counselor for boys eighteen and younger in a group home.  I was put in that position  without proper training simply because I was next in line.   When interviewing new hire,  I would ask what does love mean to you?  That person would be hired based upon the answer.

I was also somewhat new to following Meher Baba as my Master or God.  In fact, I purchased Don’t Worry Be Happy posters and gave each of the 18 boys one.  After returning from a weekend, I found all 18 posters on my door.  I later found out the administrator had hit one of the kids………………………..

Also, I was in need of control, and did not give ample latitude to my staff.  Eventually they all turned on me.  In the beginning I was liked but after six months or so I was disliked and not accepted. 

After leaving the position as Head Counselor I traveled to India to visit Meher Baba’s Tomb (he died January 31, 1969) and living disciples.  While there I  met a couple of Australians who shared a story about a recent typhoon.  Part of the dialogue had to do with toilets and such.  I over heard someone who must have been listening to our conversation state “all he knows is shit and piss.”  I was devastated by someone criticizing me.  I soon went to Meher Baba’s Tomb and asked why someone who did not know me, “put me down.”  After what seemed a long long time, Meher Baba internally answered  “I need to let go of praise and blame.”  Wow, what a concept.  From that moment on I learned to be detached from both.

So many people look outside themselves for the reflection of  who they are.  Yes, it is nice to be liked, accepted and affirmed but inevitably someone will come along and judge you.  Eventually each person must like, accept, and affirm themselves no matter how  viewed.  Until that happens that person will never be truly whole.  A hint, “your inner child holds a key.”

 

Published by Robert Zakian on 21 Aug 2017

Feelings

Way back in time I read a book  called The language of feelings by Dr. David Viscott.  He named several  important feelings and the reason for them. Listed below are the feelings he listed.

Anxiety: The fear of being hurt or losing something.  Anxiety can be felt in the stomach, heart, or shoulders, etc.

Anger: Caused by loss or hurt. Anger can be felt in the head or neck.  As an example, my stepmother had migraines.

Worry: Wants, uncertainty change, possibility about things going wrong (this was stated by Meher Baba).

Guilt:  Anger turned inward

Unrelieved guilt or anger can turn to depression.

Our emotions or physical body can provide answers to what and how we feel.  From a spiritual point of view we must own what we feel.  No one has the power to make us feel a certain way.  It takes courage to begin the process of owning what one feels.