It is difficult to sustain a loving relationship if one feels the other person is not listening. To show you care, listen without interrupting; what you think is trivial, the other person may feel it’s essential. Another critical ingredient is respect for the other person’s viewpoint by not devaluing their beliefs. If your partner or friend is hurting, be supportive, and again listen, only offering advice when asked.
After an argument, women (feminine energy) frequently want to address feelings right away by asking questions. Men (masculine energy) often have difficulty answering their questions immediately; they often need to be alone to understand what constitutes the argument. Women need to learn patience until men are capable of sharing. However, males need to communicate that they will share their feelings when able to; letting her know he wants to work it out will show he cares.
Styles on how men and women relate. When living in Montana, I would go on daily hikes with a destination in mind. Upon returning, my wife would always ask how my hike was. My reply would be good or fine. I later thought, why would she always ask about my hikes? Finally, after many moons, I got it; she wanted details, i.e., did I see any Deer, new flowers, self-revealing thoughts, or other disclosures. Many women feel intimacy when sharing thoughts or feelings, whereas men do not feel the need. However, men often feel intimacy by doing things together, i.e., hiking, working on a project, and sharing nonintimate thoughts.
Learning: Whenever disagreeable situations arise, you set it up unconsciously to uncover what is hidden in your psyche. When you can, ask yourself why you reacted and what you are supposed to learn; do not take it personally; reactions are often rooted in childhood experiences.
*Some men have more feminine energy than masculine, and some women have more masculine energy than feminine; it has nothing to do with an individual’s lifestyle.
** Communicating
- Are you a good listener?
- Are you able to share your thoughts or feelings after a heated argument?
- What emotions do you exhibit in an argument?
- What emotions do you exhibit after an argument?
